My Man's Been Drinking Again

My Man’s been a drinking again.

Sent me a text saying “I’m going out with my friends”

Oh, damn, my man’s a drinking again.

I hope he doesn’t come home tonight

Cus I’m so tired of having the same ‘ol fight

My man’s been drinking again

This damn damn man, I don’t what to do

He’s out and drinking while I’m here feeling blue

Been feeling lonely for a month or two

That man’s been drinking again.

Well now it’s time for me to get up and go

It’s time for me to let that man go.

I’ve got better things in life to do

Than sitting around feeling so blue.

That man’s been drinking again.

Oh well.

He’s drinking again.

Oh well.

He came home drunk as a skunk. :(

So tonight my fiance (perhaps ex-fiance) came home incredibly drunk. My stomach has been in knots since he texted me this afternoon saying he was `going out for a drink`. He tends to turn into an asshole when he`s had too many.

So, yes when he got back it started. Slurred speech. Yelling. Trying to pick a fight. Its heartbreaking and it makes me mad and embarrassed. I thought this was over.

We had a big blowout about his drinking about a month and half ago. We had a discussion about our future and it was decided that we don`t have one if the drinking continues. Well, it has.
I need to blog about this because I know there will days when I miss him and our home together and yes, even our relationship. And I need something to back on to remember that things were not always as good as we made them out to be.
When sober, Stacey is a very nice guy. Its true that we never had any kind of deep conversations, or a passionate love for each other. But we were comfortable. It was nice having help with bills, and having someone to come home to at the end of a hards day work. But there was alot of silence. Alot of lonliness. I spend many a night laying in our room alone, watching tv alone, wishing for someone to just come and hold me and cuddle. But it didnt happen.
Its true that he did serve me coffee every morning and at one time he'd kiss me goodnight every night and goodbye every morning. But that stopped months ago, and I guess I did notice, but I never questioned why. Passion started dwindling. And I didn't ask myself why. I just assumed things were fine.
About 2 and a half months ago Stacey was flirting with one of his "friends". He has a very large amount of female friends which I've always been uncomfortable with but he's always assured me that he's trustworthy, so I gave my unconditional trust. Silly silly me. I found a message in his facebook where he was hitting on this "friend" telling her that he thins she's sexy and he loves her boobies, etc. On that same day he sent these messages he was sending ME messages with little hearts and cats kissing. I just dont understand. I feel betrayed and when I asked him why he did that, he said he felt "trapped" and that I get mad when he goes out with his friends. Which is true. I hated him going out with his friends because all they do is drink.
I never intended to fall in love with an alcoholic. I thought he could love his life with me and our daughter more than drinking and partying, but I was very wrong.
I have now found a new place to live and will start moving on Wednesday. I know I shall look on this entry in the future and need to remember why I left.
The stress of having to track down my boyfriend on a constant basis. The stress of having to be around someone abusive everytime he got drunk. The stress of not being able to count on him even coming home. Putting up with someone who would ignore phonecalls and texts from me. Someone who felt trapped by being my partner.
I pray that my heart will heal quickly. I pray that my next boyfriend is kind, and doesnt drink. In fact, that will now be a pre-requisite. I pray that Stace Jacknife will find whatever it is he is looking for. I'm hurt and heartbroken but I've been through alot worse. I'm looking forward to settling into my new place and being free from all this drama.