The End of the Single Months

As I was saying in my previous post, the single life agreed with me alot. I was used to the idea of being single for awhile. But then things got ugly fast. Me and my son had a big blowout and he ran away. I should say that he didn't run very far. He ran upstairs, to be more specific. 

Our upstairs neighbor and my son had struck up a rather inappropriate "friendship". She was a young single mother/ pothead who would text and message my young son on a daily basis with invites for him to go get high everyday, with her, in the backyard garage. I was NOT happy about this relationship and my son knew it. She did too but still showed no respect and kept doing it. 

Well, that day we had the fight my son disappeared. He wasn't home when I got home from work so I gave it a week then called up his social worker. About 2 weeks later I suddenly got a call from Child Protective Services saying "someone" had called in and was scared for my children's safety in our home, and that they had heard that I had been evicted from my home. 

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I calmly explained that no, I had not gotten evicted and that the information they had received was incorrect. I explained that I had a bad upstairs neighbor who was doing drugs with my teenage son, and that I had asked my landlords to let me out of my lease early and that they agreed. The social worker then asked me about my job, and blah blah blah. By the end of the conversation she said she had good idea of what had happened and then told me that it was our upstairs neighbor who had called in and made the complaint. I was pretty angry and upset but continued to look for a new place, determined as ever to get out of there and away from my neighbor.

Even looking back, I just have to shake my head. This immature girl. I just don't understand people like that. Well, around this time I got the news that my ex had been evicted from our old place. He had gotten into a drunken fight with his brother and the police had been called. I was looking on-line everyday looking for places that I could afford as a fabulous single person, but unfortunately, my single budget didn't go very far when I was looking for 2-3 bedroom rentals. 

As my ex started cleaning out our old house and bringing stuff over to my place, we decided to try and make it work again. For the sake of the kids, and mostly for the sake our budgets. Reality stinks. These days we all need all the help we can get financially, and even though I worked 2 jobs, there wasn't much I could afford on my own and still be able to pay all my other bills. So here we were again, house hunting. 

I was determined that we were NOT going to repeat history again with the drinking, so I laid it all out on the table. If there was ANY drinking, he would have to move out immediately. We would find a 3 bedroom home this time and if things went back to the way they were with the drinking, at least I could rent out 1 of the bedrooms if he moved out. So it was agreed. And I started setting up viewings. 

We went and looked at quite a few that we could easily afford. Filled out a few applications and bam, within a week and a half we had signed a new lease with a new landlord, and started packing up. At this time, I was getting calls from my sons school saying he wasn't showing up for school, and I thought to myself, "Of course he's not, He's in the garage smoking pot with his drug sugar mama upstairs until midnight every night." So, finally fed up with the situation, I emailed her from work one day. Telling her I knew he was there with her and to send him home. She replied that she would but that I better watch out if I ever thought about calling the cops on her. Again, I shook my head and just left it at that. I myself, had considered calling social services on her, because she had this baby that she would leave in the bathtub and leave alone upstairs while she was out getting high, but then I would think to myself, no. It's not like the baby will die from being alone. And it's none of my business. 

Anyways, we started packing everything up and I started to looking forward to being in a new home where I could just live peacefully. 

The Single Months

Well, I moved out into my own place mid-December and took my 2 kids with me. I had found a very cheap basement suite right in "the hood" that had 2 bedrooms and shared utilities. It wasn't very far from where I had shared a place with "S"- my ex, so it was easy access when we shuttled our daughter back and forth.

I actually really enjoyed the quiet. That's one of the first things I noticed, was the quiet. The silence. There was no iPhone blaring music or funny cat video's every morning and late at night.

I enjoyed the peace. I enjoyed coming home from work without big knots in my stomach wondering what kid of drama would follow into the evening. I would come home and put on the tv and start cooking supper. I would sit and chat with my kids and see how their day was. I would watch whatever I wanted and when I turned the tv off at 8:30 pm the house would be QUIET. It was wonderful.

I enjoyed the baths. My new suite had a jetted tub. There was a timer on the wall so you could set the timer and hop in the tub and enjoy the feeling of string jetted water caressing your body. I swear to God that if I ever buy a house, I will insist that a jetted tub be installed. Most wonderful invention I have ever experienced. Seriously.

In the first few months that I lived on my own in the new place, me and my teenage son worked out a pretty good system. If he wanted spending money, he could clean a room, and I mean COMPLETELY clean a room, floors, surfaces everything, for $10/room. My place stayed very clean and my son stayed pretty happy with spending money. It was a win-win situation.

Me and my young daughter shared the big bedroom and it was wonderful as well. We had a great bedtime routine. At 8:30pm the big TV in the living room went off. Then we would go get our p.j's on together, (she would laugh at my big belly or bum bum), and then we would crawl up onto the big bed together and read a book together. Sometimes I would play "Mrs. Mommy" with her where she would pretend to be a student and I would pretend to be teacher and I would instruct her to write down certain letters and words and praise her when she did it correctly. It became a favorite game with us and I think it helped her in her letter recognition in Kindergarten as well.

After our reading time, I would put the tv on quietly and watch my fat shows with the volume turned down. I really liked "My 600 Pound Life" and although she was supposed to be trying to go sleep sometimes I would hear "Whoa Mommy! Look at that! Why he so big?" and I would tell her its because he ate too much and not to call people fat because it's not nice.

For 4 months, I lived this new life. I enjoyed it a lot. Being single really agreed with me and I was pretty content. I was still in touch with the ex, because he was still taking our daughter a couple times a week while I worked my second job. Unfortunately, though, he still did not quit drinking. There were a few times where I had to cancel shifts because he was drunk and couldn't take care of her. It made me angry but I started to realize it really was a disease. I talked to my parents about it very honestly one day as I went over to their place for coffee. I knew they really liked him, but I felt I needed to explain to them why I had to move out and break off the engagement.

I heard them talking about it when I went to use the bathroom.
Dad: "Well, it's too bad he can't get help or something. He is SUCH a nice guy"
Mom "Well dear, he can't be too nice if he'd doing all of that."

I came out of the bathroom slightly amused but thinking, "Ya, how nice was he really though...?"

I was ok with being single.I felt free and happy. No worries. Yes, there were times that I got lonely but I had my best friends. And a bonus, I now had kid free time thanks to the days where he would want to take Raya for overnights because he missed her. I actually went out and hung out with the ladies. I didn't attempt dating or anything because to be honest I was enjoying ME time. And I wasn't ready to date and open myself up for a relationship.

I enjoyed the single life for 5 sweet months. And then it all came crashing down.