Mid-terms sucked. I did pass math with a surprising 70%, but failed bitterly at accounting with only a 35%. I skipped school for 2 weeks after mid-terms, convinced that I was utter failure and hid in my appartment, watching daytime t.v, and stuffing my face.
Every night I went to bed, dissappointed and ashamed of myself. It was awful. Then last week I decided I couldn't handle myself anymore, and I went back to school. It kind of felt of good to get back, even though I had no idea what the teachers were teaching. But at least I am not giving up completely.
So what if I am not going to be an accountant? So what if I can't do math? So what if I fail these courses. At least I had the nerve to try something new.
I need a break from the books. I have started applying for office work. I am excited about finally making some money again. Student funding is not really enough to live on anymore, considering I have a new car and insurance payments. I just need a break, and need to get back to real life again.
On the bright side, I have been able to visit family and friends all over, since I got my car! I even went down to my dad's rez and meet my real family. A brother I didn't know about, and aunts and uncles.
This last month of school is going to tough. I have no desire to even go, but when I say I am going to do something, I do it.
So here I go, off to school.
BLEH.
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