Well, I moved out into my own place mid-December and took my 2 kids with me. I had found a very cheap basement suite right in "the hood" that had 2 bedrooms and shared utilities. It wasn't very far from where I had shared a place with "S"- my ex, so it was easy access when we shuttled our daughter back and forth.
I actually really enjoyed the quiet. That's one of the first things I noticed, was the quiet. The silence. There was no iPhone blaring music or funny cat video's every morning and late at night.
I enjoyed the peace. I enjoyed coming home from work without big knots in my stomach wondering what kid of drama would follow into the evening. I would come home and put on the tv and start cooking supper. I would sit and chat with my kids and see how their day was. I would watch whatever I wanted and when I turned the tv off at 8:30 pm the house would be QUIET. It was wonderful.
I enjoyed the baths. My new suite had a jetted tub. There was a timer on the wall so you could set the timer and hop in the tub and enjoy the feeling of string jetted water caressing your body. I swear to God that if I ever buy a house, I will insist that a jetted tub be installed. Most wonderful invention I have ever experienced. Seriously.
In the first few months that I lived on my own in the new place, me and my teenage son worked out a pretty good system. If he wanted spending money, he could clean a room, and I mean COMPLETELY clean a room, floors, surfaces everything, for $10/room. My place stayed very clean and my son stayed pretty happy with spending money. It was a win-win situation.
Me and my young daughter shared the big bedroom and it was wonderful as well. We had a great bedtime routine. At 8:30pm the big TV in the living room went off. Then we would go get our p.j's on together, (she would laugh at my big belly or bum bum), and then we would crawl up onto the big bed together and read a book together. Sometimes I would play "Mrs. Mommy" with her where she would pretend to be a student and I would pretend to be teacher and I would instruct her to write down certain letters and words and praise her when she did it correctly. It became a favorite game with us and I think it helped her in her letter recognition in Kindergarten as well.
After our reading time, I would put the tv on quietly and watch my fat shows with the volume turned down. I really liked "My 600 Pound Life" and although she was supposed to be trying to go sleep sometimes I would hear "Whoa Mommy! Look at that! Why he so big?" and I would tell her its because he ate too much and not to call people fat because it's not nice.
For 4 months, I lived this new life. I enjoyed it a lot. Being single really agreed with me and I was pretty content. I was still in touch with the ex, because he was still taking our daughter a couple times a week while I worked my second job. Unfortunately, though, he still did not quit drinking. There were a few times where I had to cancel shifts because he was drunk and couldn't take care of her. It made me angry but I started to realize it really was a disease. I talked to my parents about it very honestly one day as I went over to their place for coffee. I knew they really liked him, but I felt I needed to explain to them why I had to move out and break off the engagement.
I heard them talking about it when I went to use the bathroom.
Dad: "Well, it's too bad he can't get help or something. He is SUCH a nice guy"
Mom "Well dear, he can't be too nice if he'd doing all of that."
I came out of the bathroom slightly amused but thinking, "Ya, how nice was he really though...?"
I was ok with being single.I felt free and happy. No worries. Yes, there were times that I got lonely but I had my best friends. And a bonus, I now had kid free time thanks to the days where he would want to take Raya for overnights because he missed her. I actually went out and hung out with the ladies. I didn't attempt dating or anything because to be honest I was enjoying ME time. And I wasn't ready to date and open myself up for a relationship.
I enjoyed the single life for 5 sweet months. And then it all came crashing down.
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