I was Crazy Once

Back when I was in my early 20's I went for a "visit" to Alberta Hospital in Ponoka. LOL Just thinking back to my time there makes me laugh. Literally. It was, pardon the pun, CRAZY! First off, I was checked into a room, by myself. It was actually quite a large room, and I didn't really care at the time because I was so sure I wasn't going to be there for very long. The doctor's had obviously made a mistake in semding me there. All I really needed was a couple good days sleep, and then I would be right as rain. Anyways, I did spend the first couple days, just sleeping, and only getting up to go eat breakfast, lunch and supper. I was starving, and hadn't eaten, in like, a year. So I literally georged myslf on hospital food, and I do have to say that it was delicious! They have really good cooks in Ponoka. On about the thrid day, I broke the bad news to my doctor. I told him that he had been grossly misinformed, and that I did'nt belong there. And sorry for the inconvience, and I should really be on my way. He just sighed, and shook his head, looking a little annoyed. He then told me that just to make sure I was alright, I'd have to be under evaluation for at least 30 days. And at the end of the thirty days, I would be evaluated again, and a decision would be made on when I would be released.
I went into panic mode. I started the water works, and my doctor seemed totally unaffected, and so I tried to reason, tel;ling him the real reason I was sent there. He didn't budge. And so I started freaking out, realizing that I was trapped, and he prescribed me tiny white pills to calm my nerves. I found solace in the indoor smoking room, and spent alot of my time in there, bumming smokes off of the my fellow crazies. They all seemed to really accept me, and like me, and so I enjoyed smoking for free for the first week or so I was there.
Near the end of the first week I had really relaxed and accepted my situation, and had become familiar with my surroundings. I was detaxing off meth, and found myself really twitchy, and I couldn't sit still. I was able to sit long enough to smoke 3/4 of a cigarette, or eat most of my meal. But it felt like there was all this abundant energy inside of me that would not let me relax. And so I asked for the little pills more and more often. One day, after I had eaten another pill, I felt myslf starting to shake, and then BAM! Suddenly I saw about 4 faces looking down over me, and asking me if I was alright. I had had a seisure without even realizing what had happened, and I had smacked my head hard against the floor. I started laying off the little white pills after that.
Because I was on such good behavior, I was now part of the good patients club. We had full access to the hospital, and were permitted to go on special outtings. It was good to be me. The hospital was, in fact, HUGE, and I had anytime access to the swimming pool, the gymnasium, the woodworking room, the pottery room, and the games room. There was even a Starbucks stand outside of the games room, and a small store that sold clothes and tabacco. Since I was checked into the hospital, I didnt have any money, and I didnt have visitiors until later, so the hospital hooked me up with social services, and they gave me enough money to buy a couple pouches of tabacco, and some tubes, so I was able to roll my own smokes.
Ina place like that, smoking is the only thing that makes you feel normal, so I smoked alot! My physical and mental state wouldn't let me finish an entire cigarette though, so they lasted me awhile. My days consisted of going to the swimming pool, jumping in, doing a lap, going down the waterslide, sitting in the hottub for 5 minutes, then getting dressed, going for a smoke, going to play a game of pool, going for a smoke, going on the internet, checking my email, going for a smoke, going back to my unti, smoking another ciggy, going to lay down for 3 mi utes, taking a bath to try and calm myself. Filling up the tub, jumping in for 4 minutes, jumping out, going for a smoke, etc. It was so hard when I felt like I was jumping outta my skin constantly.


There were actually crazy people on my unit. The craziest was an older woman. And BOY, she was nuts. She would yell at the top of her lungs for and hour straight, "NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NOO!NO!NO!!" The nurses would take her to a roon at the end of the hallway,(right by the only bathtub on the unit), andlock her in that room, and let her scream for hours. She would tire after awhile and be quiet for a half hour or so, and then she would start again. The bathroom I used for my baths was at the very end of the hallway, and she was in the room next to the bathroom. I wou;ld be sitting in the tub, listening to her yell, and I would hold my breath and go under the water, where I couldn't hear her anymore. It was the weirdest thing. Because every few hours she would stop screaming, and a nurse would come let her out and escort her to the smoking room. And then she's stand there, not looking or talking to any of us, and she'd smoke her ciogarette in silence. And then after her smoke was done, she'd go sit in the sitting area, and suddenly start yelling,"NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!" again. Weird.


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