innuendo

in·nu·en·do/ˌinyo͞oˈendō/

Noun: An allusive or oblique remark or hint, typically a suggestive or disparaging one: "innuendo, gossip, and half-truths".

 

 

Will my past ever leave me alone? Its so hurtful to know and be reminded of what a shmuck I used to be.

Many, many years ago, a camera went missing at my parents house. I remember the day I visited them, because back then I only saw them once a year, if that. I remember sitting in their livingroom, feeling uncomfortable, and trying to think of excuses so I could get outta there and go home, and my dad came into the living room. He was looking behind my chair, and on the shelves, and on their record player. He was searching and searching everywhere, and if you know my parents house, you know that they are OCD clean freaks, and there is not one thing EVER outta place in their house. I was like,"Dad. What are you looking for?" and he told me he couldn't find his camera. The last time he used it was somewhere and some time and he couldn't remember where he had put it. And then he left to go check his office. I thought nothing of it, and left shortly after, glad to be away from them, and their looks of concern, and all their nosy questions, like "Was I still drinking?", and "Was I still on drugs?" I was thinking, "Uh, ya actually, I have a big, cold 2 litre cooler waiting for me at home so can I go now?", but I only farced my best smile and said"No."

Anyhoo, I never even thought about the camera again until today. Then I found out that when they tell the story of their missing camera, it's always we lost our camera, oh ya, and Starla was over that day that it went missing.

 

Thats called innuendo. I'm taking English 10-1 right now and we are learning about all sorts of literary terms, and that is called innuendo. I never thought they would actually think I stole from them. I've never been a theif. Sure, I've been a alcoholic, and I've had a past with drugs, but steal? No. Not me. I'm not a theif.

I remember once when I was 19 years old, me and my boyfriend Mark went with our daughter to K-Mart. It was around christmas time, and we were flat broke. So Mark decided that he's gonna steal us christmas presents. I strolled little Summy in her stroller and watched as Mark slid merchandise into her stroller, and then we tried to casually walkl out of the store. Immediatly, two security officers arrested us and we got sent to Remands, here in edmonton. They put little Summer in the cells with us until my mom could come and pick her up. We were then processed, and had to be strip searched. And by the way, that IS THE MOST humiliating thing I've eever experienced...well...it reates up there anyways. Anyways, we went to court and I got my charges dropped, and Mark got slapped with theft. Have not stolen since then.

 

This really bothers me to think that all these years my parents have  been thinking I was a criminal. Stealing from them. Never once did they ever say a word to me about this. I am so upset. I have invited them over tomorrow to talk about this among other things. Please Lord, give me the right words to say, and give me forgiveness and strength. Lord, you know Iam innocent. Please, be my protector. :(