Mid terms again. Oh boy. I am still struggling in Financial Math BUT I stayed up till midnight last night working on my assignments. Your allowed to do them over 3 times and the teacher will give you credit for the highest mark. So there I sat, calculating and sweating, only to find out that everytime I did the assignment I got exactly the same mark. Oh well. At least I tried, and at least I passed.
I did have a "EUREKA!" moment though. At midnight, as I sat in front of my text book and bawled, a thought suddenly entered my head. I tried. I tried really really hard. Now that I am living my life FOR God, my whole way of thinking has changed. I am going to school to be able get the skills I need to one day run a place that will help people get out of life situations that are not good. Homelessnesss, addiction, abuse. If God is the one who has placed this dream into my soul, the He will help me get there. I realized at midnight last night, that God is in control of my life. Because I have given Him permission to lead me in everything I do. My God has not failed me once yet. That same voice that I heard last night telling me it's ok because at least tried, is the same voice that told me to leave my old world behind 3 years ago. That voice has directed my life since then. It whispered to my soul that I should go to rehab. It encouraged me to go to school. It directed me to be wise with my money, and even opened doors for me to recieve grants and bursaries and scholorships, that I have been getting ever since I started my educational journey.
That same gentle loving voice was there when I had my baby. When I was going through labour in the hospital room alone, I knew I was NOT alone, because I could hear that voice telling me to breath, and to push. That voice was the same one that told me to go call my Nanny and Papa that day I was sitting in the alley, with nowhere to sleep. That little voice has been with me through thick and thin these past few years and has never let me down.
That voice encourages me throughout the day, in whatever I am doing. And that voice sometimes brings certain people to my mind so I can pray for them. It's amazing just how much God will come and be a part of your life, if you give Him permission to do so. In my case, I have given my heart, and my mind, and my life, and if you know me and follow my posts, you can see for yourself, that my life does nothing but improve for the better.
Anyways, enough chat for now. The voice is telling me I need to work on some school work!
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