Never Stop

Today we (the Dream Centre) went to a seniors lunch to sing for them, and to share what the Lord has done in our lives, and right now I feel so inspired. Like seriously. I just need to write about this. God has called each and every single woman that is here, to Himself. I remember well, when He called me, and I also remember the struggle deep with-in me, whether I was going to follow Him or not.


I recall the thoughts and feelings that were going on inside of me. I remember standing at that fork in the road, and before me was 2 choices that were very clear to me at the time. Road one was to keep surviving. Get a roof over my head, and get some kind of job that would be stupid enough to hire a 6 month pregnant woman. OR choice number 2. To live. To give up the things in my life that were holding me back from suceeding, like drinking, and smoking, and gambling, and men. Yes, men. And I remember the feeling of slight panic as I thought of a life without pink cider coolers and sex. Now, a little over a year and a half later, after chosing to live, Iam truely happy with the decision I made.


Life is so full of blessing each and every single day. Waking up to a beautiful, chubby, little brown baby is pure heaven, no matter if its 5:45AM. And walking into school every morning, and having familiar faces bidding me a good morning makes me feel important, and accepted. As I ride to and from school I see out the window, the very same ghetto neighbourhood that I once dwelt in, and used to sleep in those very same alleys, my heart aches for the day when I can someday return to that neighbourhood, and bring it some hope. Everytime I come home with baby Raya after a full days worth of knowledge in my head, and hear greetings from my friends welcoming me home, I again feel so loved for and cared for that I forget how tired I really am, and spend some time with them, laughing, joking, and bonding. As I sit down at my supper table, wherever it may be at the moment, and bow my head, I have so many things to be thankful for, and I let God know about it in my heart. I get to wear a smile all day, and really mean it. It is by no means forced, and I truely feel so blessed to be alive today, and the days to come. Iam happy. And thats all because of the changes God has made inside of me. My attitude, my perspective, and my feelings have all been affected by the supernatural being that is the Lord Jesus.


Thank you Lord. Never stop.

The Lord is helping me through school. I swear!

Do you know what is soo crazy? Its like some invisivle force is pushing me the direction it wants me to go. Beacsue Iam a faith believeing Christian, I can confindentally call this force, lovingly, of course, God. Iam finding out that things are getting accomplished in my life that I never thought possible on my own. Its such obvious, but simple things sometimes, like math. Now, on my own, Iam terrible at math. There are times during class that I feel that my teacher is speaking Chinese to us. And what makes it worse, uis that it seems like all the other students around me understand, what I don’t, and I can see them out of the corner of my eye, nodding their heads, as the teacher continues teaching in Chinese. Arhhggg!! Crazy. But then, as I say a simple little prayer up to God, truly begging him deep down in my heart, to help me understand, slowly, as if a big flashlight slowly starts to light up brighter and brighter in my head, the Chinese slowly dissolves into English, and I have that “light bulb “ moment. God. Then it’s as if I’ve been figuring out tangents, and dividing side opposite into side adjacent all my life.

School is going better than was possible all on my own!

Thank you Lord!

A Drug Addict and Drunk turned Christian

For the majority of my adult life I was addicted to meth and alcohol. I always felt like that I needed one or the other to be "happy". When I was sober, I was actually very shy, and very awkward around people, especially people I didn't know. I found that if I had a few drinks in me, I was alot more social, and I didn't seem to care if everyone around me was accepting me or not. In fact, sometimes when I got drunk, I didnt want people to accept me. I wanted to fight. I shake my head in embarrassment now, looking back, at all the times I would pick fights with nice people, just because I wasn't thinking straight. The next day I'd either have to watch my self, that I didn't run into the same people the next day and risk getting into another fight, or I'd have to go back, all red-faced and humbled and make my apology. Sheesh. Iam amazed that I still have a nice face, after all the fist fights I've been in. And as for the meth, well, it didn't make me fight. It made me feel....busy. I was constantly on the go, going nowhere in particular.

I find it amazing that that was not that long ago! This past year and a half has been amazing! God has truely set me free from my addiction to meth and booze. Which is really amazing. I am now going to college and pursuing a degree in buisness OR getting my teaching degree. I still havn't decided. I am enjoying learning more about God and His ways of doing things in life. I learn something new every day that I want to. I've been reunited with all my children(4 of them) since I've cleaned up and I have a brand new daughter that I am raising on my own. Its truely amazing what God can do if you let HIM!!! I seriously want to tell the world of all these changes. Wether its encouraging people to pray for their loved ones to turn to God, or whether its encouraging drug addicts to give their lives and hearts over to Jesus and let him restore their lives wholly and completly, I know I NEED to do something!!!! HEAR ME PEOPLE!!!
GOD IS ALIVE AND WELL!!
CALL ON HIM! HE WILL ANSWER!!!!!

A Divine Appointment

As a christian believer, I believe in what we call, divine appointments. Basically what this is, is that we believe God has a reason for everything, and sometimes we are in a specific place at a specific time, for a very specific reason. I want to share with you what happened to me today.

As I have already shared with all of you, I have a dad who is a homeless man, here in edmonton. The scary thing about having a loved one who is homeless, is that you don't know when the next time your gonna see them will be.(If you even see them again). This is really hard on me because I know personally, just how dangerous living on the streets really is. There's alot of phyco's out there. Alot of crazy crack heads who don't care 'bout nuthin', and alot of skitzo's too.

Anyhoo, I havn't seen my dad for over a year now. A few weeks ago, my sister-in-law mentioned to me that she heard on the radio that a homeless man named Peter had died in a bus shelter downtown. My heart neraly jumped out of my throat, for I know that my dad often uses bus shelters to sleep in and warm up in. That day that I heard about that, I was very upset, and I went and locked myself in my room, and I started praying. Begging would be more like it. I started begging God that he would save my daddy from dying before he was ready to. Because as a believer in God, I also believe that you gotta be right with God before you die, or you will suffer in hell for an eternity. And hell is...well..scary. Its a place of extreme lonliness and pain, not just physically, like the cartoon depict it, but it's a place where God's presence does not exist. There is no protection there. There is no door out. And the thought of my daddy going there deeply distreesses me. So I was begging.

Well, today I had an essay due for english, so I didn't leave school until around 2:30. I usually leave at 1pm. Then as I walked up to my bus stop, the bus went right past me, so I decided to take a detour to city centre mall. Which is something I hardly EVER do. Then, while inthe mall, I decided to go to Winners and find myself a new hoodie or yoga pants, because Iam losing the baby weight now and my clothes are getting too big. I looked and looked and couldn't bring myself to buy anything in the end, and I was thinking to myself,"Geeze, what a waste of time." So I went to catch the bus.

Then I got off at Raya's daycare, and suddenly decided to go buy a couple Papa burgers for supper. Which is, again, something I never do. Then I went to go get Raya. And we started walking the 2 blocks home. And LO AND BEHOLD, there is my dad's ex-girlfriend. Standing there waiting for her grandson to get off the school bus. I couldn't believe it!! I went up to her and said hello and asked her if she'd seen my dad lately. And she told me YES!!!!! He had just called her the night before and had left his phone number with her and his address.
He was living in Gunn, Alberta, and was in a treatment program for his drinking!!! PRAISE THE LORD!! I was so happy, I almost started crying. She took me to her place where she gave me his address and phone number. Turns out she lives only a block away from me! And my dad visits her when he does come to the city.

I jus want to say, "Thank you God, that my daddy didn't die when he was on the street. Thank you for keeping him safe and thank you so much for making sure that I found out that he is doing better than just all right. I DO believe(becvause I choose to believe) that you love my dad just as much as I do and that you want better things for him than what he had going for himself here. Thank you for giving him a SAFE place to stay!"